Party Snapshot 4 by D Kelley
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Category: Jack/Daniel
Genres: Alternate Universe, Friendship, Humor, Romance
Rated: Mature
Warnings: None
Series: The Annule
Summary: Just a "snapshot" from the birthday party. See Warnings for why it's separate from the actual story. Jack just loves a good joke. No matter how many times it bites back.

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Author's Chapter Notes:
I myself hate songfic, so why write it? I have no idea. I don't know, it's a reception. I tried to work it in well, and add humor, but maybe you'll hate it anyway.
Cassie, who was leaning against her Uncle Jack, pulled her head away a few inches and then whacked him with it. "You're acting awfully weird," she stated.

"Ow," he rubbed his shoulder indignantly.

"You're practically chortling with glee," the teenager observed. She sat up. "What have you been doing?"

"Shhh," Jack cautioned, as Daniel, Sam, Teal'c, Paul Davis, and Ahdji rejoined them at the table. "Enjoying yourself, kids?" he asked innocently.

"Oh, yeah, sir," Sam beamed. "Teal'c even danced, did you see him?"

"Sure did," Jack grinned. "Got a few snapshots for posterity, too."

The Jaffa glared and his look promised future death.

Daniel peered at Jack suspiciously. "What have you been up to, Jack?" he asked. "You're acting waaay too happy."

"Why shouldn't I be happy?" Jack bounced in his seat from side to side. "Good food, good friends," he gestured around the hall, "good music . . ."

Daniel's eyes became slits. "What'd you do, Jack?"

Now when he was a young man, he never thought he'd see (King Tut) people stand in line to see the boy king (King Tut), the stereo system blasted.

"You didn't," Daniel growled.

Jack looked the perfect angel. "Didn't what?" he asked.

How'd you get so funky (funky Tut)? Did you do the monkey? Steve Martin asked in song.

"You did," Daniel snarled, palms going flat on the table.

(Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia, King Tut).

"You're a dead man, O'Neill," Daniel stated, standing up.

Now if I'd known the line would form to see him (King Tut), I'd taken all my money and bought me a museum (King Tut).

"Me?" Jack squeaked, jumping up, too. They both ignored the giggles at the table.

Buried with a donkey (funky Tut), he's my favorite honky!

"That's going to be you," Daniel promised, pointing at him. "Buried with a donkey. Only I don't need a donkey because I've already got a jacka--"

"Ah, ah, ah," Jack pointed at Cassie. "Children," he said lamely.

(Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia, King Tut).

Daniel lunged around the table, causing Jack to jump back several feet.

Dancing by the Nile, the ladies loved the style (waltzing Tut).

"Dead, dead, dead," Daniel chanted, advancing like a predatory animal.

"It's just a joke, Daniel," Jack laughed, getting the table between them again.

Rocking for a mile (walking Tut), he ate a crocodile.

"What did I tell you about this the last time you played this song someplace?" Daniel ground out, lunging around the table again and nearly getting him. Jack made it to the other side.

He gave his life for tourism. Golden idol. He's an Egyptian! They're selling you.

"He's an Egyptian, Danny," Jack said lamely, grinning. "It was an homage."

Now when I die, now, don't think I'm a nut.

"I'll give you an homage," Daniel said in a deadly tone. "I warned you what would happen the last time you played this song, at the Christmas party. I gave you fair warning. And I asked you nicely three times before that."

Don't want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut (King Tut).

Jack giggled. "It just never gets old," he shrugged.

Daniel lunged again. "Teal'c?"

He coulda won a grammy (King Tut), buried in his jammies.

Jack warily steered away from that direction, too, as the Jaffa stood up.

(Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia, born in Arizona, got a condo made of stone-a, King Tut).

"No fair calling in ringers," he waved a finger.

"I owe DanielJackson many favors, O'Neill," the Jaffa smiled. He and Daniel lunged as one, and before long, Teal'c sat on the ground with Jack firmly pinned in his arms and legs. Sam ambled over and coolly handed over an eyeliner.

"Carter! I outrank you!"

"I'm sorry," Sam looked around in confusion. "Did anyone hear something just now? My ears are still ringing from that King Tut song."

"I didn't hear a thing," Daniel said around the cap to the eyeliner, which was already in his mouth.

"Nor I," Teal'c nodded.

"I'm too curious about what I'm seeing to hear anything," Davis said absently, kneeling beside the group, which was drawing a small, amused crowd.

Daniel held Jack's head still and eyelids closed, one at a time, by the simple expedient of using four knuckles against his forehead, pressing his head tightly against Teal'c's chest, and his thumb against his eye, making it difficult for Jack to really fight the situation without hurting himself. With the other hand, he fastidiously drew and re-drew thick lines of make-up, the end result culminating in a pair of very Egyptian-looking, kohl-painted eyes.

"How long till it's smudge-proof?" Daniel asked Sam.

"30 seconds, give or take," she estimated. "Waterproof, too, don't forget that."

"You're sadistic," Jack accused.

"You get what you give," Daniel shot back. "Next time you make me listen to that song, it'll be worse. Next time I'll shave your head like a real Egyptian."

"You wouldn't dare," Jack challenged.

Teal'c's head bobbed to the side above him. "I shall help him, O'Neill," the Jaffa purred.

"You're evil, all of you, evil," Jack told them. "I have an evil, evil team."

The End
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