Jack O'Neill woke up from an exquisite and obviously fruitful wet dream to the harsh truth of reality.
Crap. I can't take this much longer. Peering at the clock he groaned at the fluorescent 2:00 am mocking him. Double crap.
With an audible sigh Jack turned over, or more precisely, tried to turn over. An inexorable weight blocked his endeavour.
"What the-" Jack's expletive caught in his throat as he stared at the obstacle, all six feet-whatever of Daniel Jackson, sleeping beside him. In his bed. In Jack's bed. Jack gently lifted the sheets and peeked underneath; they were both naked. He and Daniel. Daniel and he. Nude. Together. Oh my God. It wasn't a dream. Instantly, Jack's mind replayed the scene in the elevator, the hallway, and the bedroom. He and Daniel. Tears formed in Jack's eyes as he realized he had truly loved Daniel. Kissing, stroking, licking, tasting. Sure, they hadn't gone 'all the way' but it was only their first time. It was all so much more than Jack had ever dreamed or hoped for.
Jack's gaze swept longingly over Daniel's sleeping form. His back was facing Jack and the older man reached out to tenderly caress the exposed skin.
God, his skin is so smooth...so flawless.
Moonlight from the window highlighted the muscular curves and the smooth planes of the young man's back, narrowing down to the delectable flesh underneath the covers. Jack lay his hand on Daniel's side, stroking softly. His hand, large and calloused, looked out of place. Jack frowned. His hand looked...old. Tears of a different kind welled in his eyes.
God, Danny. I can't do this to you. You deserve so much better.
A choking sob forced Jack to flee the bed. He quickly dressed and stumbled outside into the cool, night air. Breathing deeply he doubled over in anguish.
Christ, what was I thinking? This is wrong...this is all wrong.
Daniel rolled over and threw his arm over...nothing? Blinking rapidly, he forced his eyes open and looked around anxiously.
"Jack?" Maybe he's in the bathroom.
Daniel felt the empty space beside him; the cold, empty space. Oh, God.
He looked at the clock: 3:00 am.
Okay, don't panic. Maybe he couldn't sleep. That's it. He got up because he couldn't sleep and he didn't want to wake you. He got up because...because he realized what a monumental mistake he made. Oh, God.
Daniel staggered out of bed.
"Shit, where are my clothes?"
He reached for his shorts and then remembered their soiled condition. "Damn it."
He snagged Jack's bathrobe from the back of the door, the scent of Jack enveloping him as he tied it closed. The fear of never feeling Jack's arms around him again, of never tasting his lips, of never knowing...
"Stop it," he hissed to himself. "He just couldn't sleep, that's all."
Daniel searched the house. Nothing. The knot of sick fear in his stomach tightened as he discovered the older man's jacket was missing.
No. No, he wouldn't.
Dashing to the window, Daniel frantically peered outside. Jack's car was still there. His heart beat a little less wildly and he closed his eyes, taking a few calming breaths.
"Jack?" he called again.
Daniel went back to the kitchen and looked out the window. There he was, sitting on the deck hunched over, his head in his hands.
"Jack," Daniel murmured sadly.
Jack heard the back door open. Not now, Danny. Not now.
Soft, tentative footsteps then a gentle pressure on his shoulder.
Jack flinched at the touch and sprang to his feet, turning away from Daniel.
Daniel stood open-mouthed and devastated.
"Jack?" he repeated, the crack in his voice unmistakable.
"Go back to bed, Daniel," Jack said stiffly.
"I don't understand," Daniel said quietly.
"Just do it," Jack said harshly.
"I-I thought...I know I'm not...very good at this but I thought-"
Christ, Danny, shut up.
"It was a mistake, all right?" Jack said turning around swiftly. "It was a stupid mistake; I was curious."
Oh, crap. Big mistake, O'Neill. Shouldn't have looked. Shouldn't have goddamned looked.
Daniel's eyes were two huge, blue pools of misery. Even in the dark Jack could see the colour drain from his face, the sag of his body as his hurtful words impaled and destroyed his friend. His lover. His Daniel.
Jack's heart stopped at the utter devastation he had wrought. In two quick strides he engulfed Daniel in the biggest, tightest, 'Oh-God-I-don't-ever-want-to-let-you-go' embrace he could manage.
The shock of Jack's words and the crush of his arms around him rendered Daniel completely incapacitated. He couldn't return the hug if he tried; his arms were pinned to his sides by the fierceness of Jack's embrace.
"Danny, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Jack uttered the words over and over again, his hot tears trickling down Daniel's neck.
Daniel finally found his voice. "Jack," he croaked. "Jack, I c-can't breathe."
Daniel's strangled voice finally penetrated Jack's brain and he relaxed his hold, moving his hands up to frame Daniel's face.
"Forgive me," he whispered.
"Jack, you're scaring me," Daniel said, his arms finally free to grasp the older man's shoulders.
"This isn't right, Daniel," Jack whispered.
"P-please. I-I don't understand."
Jack felt the shivers underneath his hands and finally realized Daniel was clad only in his old bathrobe, his feet bare.
"Danny, you're freezing. Go inside, please."
"Not without you," Daniel replied steadfastly.
Jack saw the stubborn set of the jaw he knew and loved so well and knew it was pointless to argue.
"Come on," he said, steering Daniel into the house.
Once inside, Daniel took complete control and pulled Jack into the bedroom. He pointed to the bed, the large and oh-so-inviting bed that still smelled of their recent lovemaking.
"We'll talk in there," Daniel said firmly.
Losing all will to fight, and against his better judgement, Jack removed his clothes and crawled into the bed. Daniel shed his robe and quickly followed, spooning up behind the distraught man. Daniel's arms encircled Jack who desperately fought to stem the flow of tears. He failed. Daniel held him close, planting tender kisses on his neck and shoulder. When the awful shuddering stopped, Daniel wiped the remaining tears away, hugged Jack tightly and asked quietly,
"What was that all about?"
Jack heaved a deep sigh and murmured, "You deserve so much more."
Daniel rested his head on Jack's shoulder, one hand caressing Jack's thigh.
"I love you, Jack. You're all I want."
"Danny," Jack whispered as he rolled over to face the young man. "Look at me. I'm an old warhorse. I'm sagging in parts where you don't even have wrinkles yet. You should be with a beautiful young woman like Sha're or Sarah, having beautiful children. You shouldn't be tied down with me and the shit I carry."
"Don't I deserve to be happy?" Daniel asked, cupping Jack's face. "Don't I deserve to have the kind of love I've hungered for?"
Jack hugged Daniel to his chest and kissed the top of his head.
"I don't want to lose you," he whispered. "I don't want you to wake up one day and realize you made a mistake. I don't want you to be repulsed-"
"Jack," Daniel said firmly, looking into the trouble brown eyes, "where are you getting this stuff?"
"Daniel, I've never been with a man before. I don't-"
"Neither have I, but that's not important. What's in here," he said, placing his hand over his heart, "and what's in here," his hand pressed against Jack's chest, "that's what's important. The rest is icing on the cake." Incredibly delicious icing but...
"I don't know if I can please you," Jack admitted.
"Trust me, Jack. You please me."
"What if…you know," Jack shrugged.
"The novelty wears off?" Daniel guessed.
Jack nodded and Daniel smiled. "Jack, I'm curious about a lot of things, but believe me, having sex with a man is not on my list of 'must-do's'."
"So, what does that make me?"
"That makes you," Daniel said, brushing Jack's lips tenderly with his own, "very, very special."
Jack's eyes glistened and his throat tightened.
"Danny, if we do this, it has to be forever. I-I can't do it any other way," Jack said desperately.
"I wouldn't have it any other way," Daniel said, taking Jack's mouth in his. Jack's hands swept lovingly over Daniel's pliant body as they kissed long and deep. Daniel slowly withdrew his tongue from Jack's hot depths and methodically began to kiss and lick away the tears staining Jack's face and neck. Once satisfied that all trace of sadness was removed from his friend and lover, Daniel began to blaze a trail of hot kisses across Jack's chest and down to the throbbing heat that was pressing into him so relentlessly.
Jack's caresses became more frantic, his moans of pleasure more frequent and louder as he felt his lover drawing ever closer to his straining organ.
Daniel kissed Jack's inner thighs, all the while watching Jack's penis, memorizing every little detail. Jack whimpered and Daniel watched in fascination as pearly beads of semen seeped from Jack's inflamed head. Eyes glazed, Daniel flicked out his tongue and licked the offering. Jack shuddered and thrust upwards, blindly seeking his lover's mouth. Daniel complied.
"Oh, God," Jack gasped, arching up and clasping Daniel's shoulders as the hot, moist mouth engulfed his swollen cock. Jack whimpered and cried out in ecstasy as Daniel sucked, licked and nibbled, sending him over the edge into orgasmic oblivion.
"Christ, Danny," he gasped as he pulled his lover up to his chest.
Daniel reluctantly released his prize, giving the softening flesh one last tender kiss. Jack ravaged Daniel's mouth, exulting in the new tastes. Rolling the two of them over on their sides, Jack's strong hand reached down to caress his lover's rigid cock, delivering long, smooth strokes that soon had Daniel quivering like Jell-O.
"J-Jack," he panted, thrusting wildly against the older man's hand.
Jack fondled Daniel's balls, eliciting a frantic moan of dismay as he stopped his stroking. Capturing Daniel's mouth in his own, he began stroking in earnest, eventually releasing his lover's mouth so he could be free to scream out his passion.
Daniel lay gasping in Jack's arms, moaning incoherently. Jack tightened his arms around his hot, sweaty lover, rolled over on top and kissed him tenderly.
"You gonna live?"
The answering moan beneath him caused Jack to chuckle and he bounced lightly against the younger man's body.
"Again?" Daniel mumbled incredulously.
"What? Oh-hey, you're good Daniel, but even you can't get me up again that fast."
"Oh yeah?" he said slyly, his hand snaking down Jack's body.
"Hey, none of that," Jack warned, slapping his hand away. "Think of my heart."
Daniel sighed in mock frustration then happily laid his head on Jack's chest, his fingers curling in the wiry chest hair. Jack idly caressed Daniel's back and they both basked in the euphoria of love and lust.
"You're incredible, Daniel," he murmured. "God help me if you were an old hand at this."
"Well, actually, this wasn't my first time," Daniel confessed hesitantly, troubled blue eyes looking imploringly at Jack.
Jack's fingers trembled slightly but he swallowed the bitter pill of jealousy. What was harder to swallow was Daniel lying to him, and on their first night.
"It's okay, Danny. Lucky bastard whoever he was." God, please let there only be one.
"You're okay with this?" Daniel asked anxiously.
"I've got you now, don't I?" Jack asked, yearning for confirmation.
"Forever," Daniel vowed.
Jack hugged Daniel tight and asked, "When?" He didn't want to know 'who' but he did want to know 'when'. As long as it happened before the SGC he could handle it gracefully. Maybe.
Daniel reared up slightly to glance at the clock. He lay back with a sigh and whispered, "About four hours ago," before starting to giggle.
It took a few seconds for Jack's troubled mind to catch up. "Jackson, you are so dead," he growled, pinning the younger man beneath him as he tickled him mercilessly.
Daniel screamed with laughter and pleaded for mercy, which he got but not before he was an exhausted wreck.
"You gonna live?" Jack asked again.
"Only-only if you-let me," Daniel gasped.
"Consider yourself lucky then," Jack said, leaning down to plant a tender kiss on the flushed face beneath him. Inevitably, the kiss ended up inside Daniel's mouth and inevitably, Daniel's long, graceful fingers soon had Jack hard and wanting.
Oh God, he really is going to kill me.
Jack let Daniel do all the work and soon exploded into his lover's hand, utterly exhausted, utterly sated, and so unbelievably happy. Daniel wrapped himself around Jack.
"Told you," he whispered in his ear before they both succumbed to blissful sleep.
|Genres:||Angst, First Time|
|Summary:||Jack has second thoughts.|
Author's Chapter Notes:
The boys first night together. Follows More First Times.