Since I'm currently in Camelot (what does it say about my life that I would ever be in a position to write that?), I'm actually writing this letter in my personal journal. In cuneiform. I'll tell you about it when I see you next, but, well, I miss you. I know, I know, don't get sappy, but Camelot is somewhat farther away than Colorado Springs and writing like this makes me feel closer to you somehow. I really wish you were here right now. I could use one of your back rubs because without one, I don't think I'll be sleeping any more tonight.
I just had another one of those horrible nightmares. You know the ones. They seem so very real, except everyone is... off. It's fading some now, which is just as well. I remember something about a bunch of Ba'als on base (yes, go ahead, I can hear you saying it anyway) and Bill saying something about the ventilation system not being designed to distribute gases. No. Don't say it, Jack, I know air is made up of gases, but the worst part was Sam. God! She was such a *wimp*! She gave Ba'al the gate addresses you input from the Ancients' database! Sam would *die* before she did that, but in my nightmare she just rolled over without even a whimper.
I can't help but wonder if deep down, I still feel like I'm competing with her for you. I know you were never serious about her, but God! I can't think of any other reason for her to be like this in my nightmares. It's unsettling, but not as unsettling as waking up and not finding you next to me. I'm telling you now, Jack, as soon as we can find a way to deal with the Ori, we need to make a change. I don't care if it's Minnesota, Egypt or P3whatthehell, I don't want to be away from you any more.
Who knows, maybe it'll make these damned dreams stop. If they keep on, I'm afraid they're going to impact my friendship with Sam and I don't want that.
I'm still trying to find a gentle way to suggest she burn all the pink in her wardrobe. Every time she wears it she looks like she's trying to look ten. That is just sad at her age.
Maybe Teal'c could get away with it. Telling her, that is, not wearing pink. But I guess if he wanted to nobody would dare say anything. Which, of course, is all beside the point.
I guess I'll head back over to the library and get started again. The sooner I find Merlin's weapon, the sooner I can be with you again. People would be surprised to find that behind ninety percent of all great finds is an archeologist with blue balls who just wants to get home so he can get laid.
All my love,
P.S. Did I ever tell you about the dream I had about the stupid "no gays in the military" policy? McKinsey would have a field day with these... but first he has to learn to read cuneiform.
|Summary:||A plausible explanation for the episode "Insiders". Goodness knows there was nothing plausible about what we saw on the screen.|
Author's Chapter Notes:
On the Alphagate mailing list, if off-topic discussions continue too long, the list members involved are encouraged to 'pay' for the infraction by providing an "Alphagram" in the form of a short ficlet. Given the abysmal quality of the episode "Insiders", I offered this Alphagram on its behalf. When the explanation for one character's absence and the background business of another character are the high points of the show, you know there's a problem. I wrote this during the encore showing.