Chief of Heaven 1: The Portal by Joolz
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Category: Teal'c/Sam, Jack/Daniel
Genres: Action/Adventure, First Time, Humor, Hurt/Comfort
Rated: Adult
Warnings: Adult Themes
Series: Chief of Heaven
Summary: Something uncomfortable comes up on the sex god's planet.

- Text Size +
Author's Chapter Notes:
Small implied Sam/Teal?c HET references (off-camera).
The briefing room lights lowered as Dr. Jackson prepared to begin his presentation. He took a deep breath and reminded himself that this was merely another academic explanation like he'd given a hundred times before. -- Don't kid yourself, Jackson. This is going to be the briefing from hell and you know it. --

The first image to appear on the screen was of a small stone temple surrounded on all sides by lush tropical vegetation.

He began, "This is the structure discovered by SG4 on T5R-169. From the weathering and vegetation growth I estimate the temple has been abandoned for anywhere from 700 to 900 years. It consists of two chambers, the outer one a small hall with pillars around the outer walls. In the center there stands another small building which I take to be the sanctuary. The doors of the sanctuary are sealed, but we can estimate an inner chamber at least ten feet wide by fifteen feet long. Rather than force the doors SG4 brought their survey findings back for me to look at. Based on these materials, I'd like to recommend that SG1 return to the planet to complete the excavation of this site."

General Hammond queried, "Have you found anything to indicate the temple may hold something of interest to us?"

"Yes, sir. The decoration on the outer walls of the structure has been completely eroded in the humid atmosphere, but there are some markings left in more protected parts of the hall. I'm hoping that if the sanctuary doors have been sealed this whole time, the writing within the inner room will have been better preserved. But in addition to that,...." He nodded to Sam.

She continued, "SG4 detected faint energy readings coming from the inner room. I've looked over their data, and it is consistent with what we've come to recognize as Goa'uld technology energy signatures. But there's no way of knowing what's behind that door without going to have a look, sir."

Colonel O'Neill jumped in at this point. "Abandoned Goa'uld technology, huh? Sweet. Like maybe some explosive booby traps or nasty alien creatures waiting for us to let them out of dusty sarcophagi? We have such good luck with old snake stuff."

"Colonel, that is your job, isn't it? To find knowledge and technologies which may help us in the fight against the Goa'uld. Are you having a difficulty with that?"

"No, sir. I'm just saying that these things do have a tendency to bite us on the ass."

"Truer words were never spoken, Colonel. Dr. Jackson, do you have an idea which Goa'uld this structure is associated with?"

"Yes, General." -- Here we go. -- He touched the remote control and the image on the screen changed. With his back to it, he addressed the General and the rest of his team. "This picture was taken in the hall. There are others which confirm that this is the God the temple was dedicated to." He faltered, and fell silent as he steeled himself to continue.

"Um, Daniel?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"What are we looking at there? Is that what I think it is?"

"Yes, Jack, it probably is. This is Min or Menu. In Egyptian mythology he was the son of Ra and Shu. In the early dynasties Min was closely associated with the sky god Ra, having the thunderbolt as his main symbol, and was called the Chief of Heaven. He is mainly known as a fertility deity, however. This is the most common representation for him in later periods, with one arm raised holding a flail."

"Um, Daniel? And is that supposed to be his...?"

"Yes, Jack. Min is quite easy to identify, since he is the only ithyphallic god. Ithyphallic, meaning 'with erect penis'."

Daniel glanced behind him at the screen. The wall carving clearly showed a figure standing with legs together, one arm raised with several lines extending downward from the fist, and a double plumed crown reaching far overhead. As is common in classic Egyptian art, the lower body and bearded face were turned sideways while the upper body was seen face on. Standing out from the groin area was a long, thick and very straight phallus. Oh, yeah. The briefing was going to go downhill from here real fast, he was sure of it.

Jack leaned forward for a better look. "Well that's...impressive. So is that supposed to be anatomically correct, or did the guy go in for artificial aids? 'Cause from where I'm sitting, that isn't physically possible."

"I don't know about that, Jack. You'll have to ask him if you meet him."

Daniel strove to regain control of the presentation. "Min was the god of male fertility and sexual potency." He touched the button again and the image changed. "He is frequently represented in Middle Kingdom temples. The pharaohs were anxious to leave no doubt as to their close relationship with him, since he was considered responsible for guaranteeing ample offspring and specifically the male heir to the throne. This depiction is from the Temple of Karnak at Thebes, showing Seti I being embraced by Min."

Jack's eyebrows were raised, and for once he was listening avidly. Daniel had suspected that this was one lecture on ancient Egyptian deities that his CO would not be sleeping through. Jack opened his mouth to make another comment, and Daniel rushed on, "In much the same way as Hathor, Min was an extremely popular and much loved God. The many celebrations which were held in his honor during coronations and at harvest time usually included orgiastic festivals, and the white bull was his sacred animal. His worship included a cabbage and..."

This time Jack succeeded in interrupting. "Cabbage? The sex god was worshipped with cabbage?"

Daniel tried to reign in his exasperation. "We're not talking romaine lettuce here, Jack. This was a kind of leafy plant which grew long and thin with a bulbous end," he used his hands to demonstrate, "and produced a milky white substance similar to..."

General Hammond intervened, "Thank you, Dr. Jackson, I think we get the picture. So are you saying that this Min was a Goa'uld?"

"Apparently so, sir. Teal'c says he hasn't heard anything about him before now, but this temple is a pretty clear indication. It's been abandoned for a long time, so maybe Min was killed or banished at some point. I hope to find out more when we go there."

Hammond nodded, "Well, this explains a lot. SG4 seemed a bit uncomfortable during the debriefing, but they didn't mention the more, er, startling aspects of this find."

"Yes, Major Kline said that some of the statuary made him a bit jumpy."

O'Neill prompted, "Statuary?"

Daniel sighed, and touched the remote again.

There was silence in the room. After a moment Teal'c spoke for the first time. "DanielJackson, what is he holding in his hand?"

"A whip."

The photograph showed a solid black carved statue. One of the figure's hands was wrapped around the base of an even more massive erect penis. He assumed Teal'c didn't mean that one. The other hand was raised, with a thin cord hanging down from it.

Jack sat back in amazement. "So let me get this straight? Hard-ons the size of sequoias, whips, orgies, embraces, bulls, and X-rated vegetables ...? Daniel, you sly devil, you've been holding out! You didn't tell me this old stuff could be so 'risqué'."

Hammond admonished, "Colonel..."

A muffled snort came from O'Neill's right, and everyone turned to look at Major Carter, who was hiding her mouth behind her hand.

The General shot a very convincing glare down the table at her. "Major, is there something you find funny?"

"Sorry, sir. It's just that usually it's the women who have all their stuff, you know, hanging out. It's just nice to have it the other way around for a change."

"Decorum here, people. Thank you for your very enlightening explanation, Dr. Jackson. You're cleared to go tomorrow at 09:00, but be very careful. Like the Colonel said, we don't know what you're going to find behind that door. Dismissed."

As the others left, Daniel gathered his notebook computer and other materials. Then he noticed Jack still sitting there, a speculative look on his face as he observed Daniel.

Daniel asked, "What?"

"Oh, nothing. Just wondering what other surprises you have hidden behind that guise of mild mannered archaeologist."

Daniel gently slapped him upside the head on his way past and out the door.

T5R-169 was hot. And humid. They were all sweating freely within minutes of stepping out of the Stargate, and were glad to enter the slightly cooler shade of the colonnaded hall.

As Sam shrugged her pack off and dropped it inside the doorway, she said, "Man, it's hot!"

"Ya think?" O'Neill was just as glad to lose the extra weight.

Daniel had suddenly become oblivious to anything but the chamber around him, and had already drifted forward, pack and all.

Jack called after him, "Whoa there, big guy. We've had the 'not wandering off in strange temples' talk, haven't we?"

"But Jack, SG4 already checked the place out."

"Yeah, but I haven't checked the place out. Teal'c, Carter, secure the perimeter. Daniel, you're with me."

Jack pulled Daniel's pack off his back, then led the way into the enclosure, flashlight in hand.

Stone columns, some of them with worn carvings, some smooth, stood along the outer walls. In the center of the space between the open doorway and the sanctuary stood the slightly larger than life-size statue they had seen the previous day. Jack worked his way around the wall, inspecting each alcove space between the pillars. Some of them had low stone tables or seats, while others had niches imbedded in the wall at eye level containing more small statues, variations on the same theme. The surfaces of the walls were highly deteriorated, but near the ceiling a few engraved images were still visible.

As they proceeded with the inspection, Jack occasionally stopped to study some relic, then cast an accusatory glance at Daniel, as though the archaeologist were personally responsible for the lewd figures.

Daniel tried to remain quiet, and not fuel the prurient outburst he expected from the other man, but eventually he had to give voice to his enthusiasm. "This is so amazing! You have no idea how rare it is to find a collection of artifacts in such pristine condition. Images such as these would have been long gone on Earth, unless they were protected by extraordinary means. Many would have been stolen, but most would have been disfigured by vandals by now."

"Yeah, I can imagine that knock-the-dong-off-the-God would be a real fun game."

"For me this goes a long way toward confirming SG4's speculation that the planet is now uninhabited. I can't wait to see what's in the sanctuary!"

They moved over to stand in front of the sealed door, and Jack began to inspect it for concealed dangers. Within minutes Carter and Teal'c returned from their recon, and Teal'c gave his report. "There is indeed no indication that anyone other than SG4 has been in the vicinity in many years. While the area appears free of human threats, I am unable to judge the dangers which may be posed by indigenous animals and plants. The foliage immediately surrounding the temple appears harmless, but we have not explored further afield."

"Alright then, we seem to be okay. So keeping an eye out for carnivorous plants and beasties with big teeth, let's get to work. Daniel, how do you want to proceed?"

Daniel was running his hands over the surface of the door. "Just as I thought from the photographs, there is writing on the door, but it's badly worn. Teal'c, would you help me make a rubbing of this? Then if I can read it we may know if there's a trick to opening it, or if we'll have to use force." Daniel motioned to another wall, "Jack, if you wanted to help with the rubbings, you could..."

"I think I'll avoid fondling anything around here for the time being. Carter, let's go hack ourselves a clearing to set up camp in."

They had carried portable lights with them, and set them up to illuminate the work area. Teal'c often helped Daniel with this kind of data collection, so accompanied by the sound of machetes cutting through the undergrowth in the background, the two worked together smoothly. As the lead sticks brought out the patterns hidden beneath the white paper, Daniel asked, "So where do you think everyone went? There must have been people living here at one time, or there would be no point in building a temple."

"I do not know, DanielJackson. There are many reasons which might explain the disappearance of a human population from a planet. The fact that we do not know the fate of Min himself clouds the issue. But the planet may have been conquered by another Goa'uld, and the inhabitants exterminated. Min or another may have relocated the population for their own purposes. You understand that human slaves are of no greater consequence to the Goa'uld than a piece of your office furniture is to you. If you decide that you would rather have the lamp here than there, then you move it. So too, the Goa'uld and their possessions.

"I also believe that they have less care for their slaves than the average Earth city dweller has for a potted plant. They have frequently settled colonies onto planets which are unsuitable for human habitation, only to see them whither and die. The human race is indeed a difficult plant to kill, but it is not impossible. I credit the great proliferation of human life throughout this galaxy to the remarkable adaptability of the species. I too hope that within this structure we will find answers as to what has befallen those who once dwelt here."

They finished the rubbings, laid the sheets out on the floor, and began to work through the translation. Half an hour later the two Air Force officers came back in. Jack announced, "Okay, we've cleared a bit of ground out there, and set up the tents. You figure out how to get the door open yet?"

"I think so. We are all agreed that it's preferable to get the door to open by itself rather than have to blast it down or something, right?"

O'Neill drawled, "Ye-ah?" and the others nodded.

"That's good, just wanted to be clear." Daniel stood up straight, raised his notebook and cleared his throat. "This is what the inscription says: 'You who desire to penetrate the inner sanctum must prove your stature. From your heaving loins the milk of life must rain down upon the portal in abundance. Only then will the impediment to eternal ecstasy yield before your thrust."

Daniel primly closed the notebook and hooked his pen on the outer cover. He then looked up at his teammates and blandly waited for a reaction.

Jack didn't take long. "So, I'm a little slow on the uptake here. What exactly does that mean? I got the heaving loins bit, but the rest...?"

"Someone is going to have to ejaculate on the door."

"What? You've got to be kidding. Now, that's just stupid. How would a dead as a doornail stone door know it had been come on?"

Sam knelt down in front of the door and brushed some dust away. "There is a metal plate here on the floor which extends underneath the door. It could certainly have sensors which would identify human genetic material and trigger a mechanism. Of course we don't know if it's still functioning, but since we're getting an energy reading, we can guess that at least something might be working. It's worth a try."

Jack was still stunned by this turn of events. "Are you sure there's not some little glyph to twist or something?"

"Yes Jack, I'm sure."

"Well, alright then, go ahead. You're the archaeologist. You must be used to doing this kind of thing."

"Ah, no. I'm just here to provide the information the team leader needs to carry out mission objectives. You know I've always admired your commitment to the security of your subordinates, the way you always insist on going through those mysterious doorways first. What if there's a big hairy monster back there? You wouldn't want me to be endangered, would you?" Long lashes batted over the big, round, innocent eyes.

Jack glared at the younger man. "You little shit." He then turned to Teal'c, who was looking alarmed and already inching toward the exit. When he looked at Carter she held her hands up, "Well, I'm certainly not going to do it, am I?" and retreated behind Teal'c.

He looked back at the archaeologist in time to see an evil grin quashed. "Laugh it up, rock-boy. You are SO gonna pay for this!"

Daniel brushed lightly past his friend. "I have every confidence that you can manage this yourself. Unless of course you want me to stay and give you a hand?" The last part trailed off into a rumbling whisper.

Jack blushed. "Out. Now."

Alone in the temple Jack stood looking at the door. -- I can't believe the stuff that happens to me. That Jackson is dead meat. Of all the times to play defenseless civilian! And what was he thinking making that crack about staying to give me a hand? --

Shifting his P-90 around to his back to free up his hands, he opened his fly and took it out, not finding the least inspiration in the blank door in front of him.

He thought about Daniel. He had to admit that the two of them had been flirting practically since day one. It was just part of who they were, the playful teasing and casual touching. Maybe not normal guy stuff, but harmless. They were best friends and had been through some pretty damn rough times together. They were just comfortable with their relationship being sort of special.

Lately, though, things had changed. Somehow through an unspoken agreement flirty had given way to seductive. Nothing overt, just pushing the teasing slightly over the line, when no one was looking. Jack hadn't given much serious thought to where this was going, if anywhere, but had just enjoyed the rush that accompanied the verbal sparring.

Now though, he let his mind go there. -- What if Daniel had stayed to 'give me a hand'? What would he do? --

Jack imagined that Daniel was standing behind him. He would place his hands on Jack's shoulders, and slowly lean forward to kiss him just below the ear. Jack moved his cheek to brush the other man's forehead, feeling the feather soft fringe of hair tickle his skin. Daniel's lips traced the line of his cheekbone as he moved his body in closer behind Jack. Dropping his hands to Jack's hips, he pulled back, letting his erection press against the buttocks in front of him. --Yes, Danny. Like that. -- Gracefully, the younger man's hands slid forward over the hip bones, and Jack knew where they were headed. His breath caught as long, slim fingers wrapped around his straining erection. -- Oh, God yes! -- That hand began to stroke the enlarged shaft, while the other delved below to cup his sensitive balls. Groaning, Jack began to rock into the caressing hands, every cell in his body tingling, the rhythm and pressure just right. Daniel whispered something in his ear. He didn't quite catch it, but he knew it was a special endearment just for him, it was Daniel saying how much he loved him. Daniel's body pressing into his back. Daniel's hands on him. Daniel. "Aaaahh!"

Jack suddenly rocked forward and rested his forehead against the door as his orgasm rained the milk of life in abundance upon the portal. He gasped for breath, thinking too late that maybe there was someplace specific he was supposed to be aiming for.

The door apparently was not particular, or Jack had managed to get some where it needed to go, because the rumbling sound of a mechanism engaging startled him back to the present. He jumped back from the door, and had barely gotten himself put away and zipped up when the others came running in attracted by the increasing noise.

Teal'c's large hand clapped him on the shoulder, and as he intoned "Well done, O'Neill," the door began to move. Jack kept his hands on his gun and eyes focused on the doorway, avoiding looking at anyone. -- I still can't believe I did that! How am I going to write that one up for the report? --

The door divided in the middle and swung outward in two sections revealing little more than darkness. Teal'c repositioned a light to shine into the inner chamber, where it disclosed a stone table or pedestal standing alone in a largely undecorated room.

Daniel stepped forward, but Jack called him back. " AH! Remember, it's my job to go through the doors first?"

Daniel's frustration was a small satisfaction. "Well go on, then. I'm right behind you."

He would have to say that! -- Concentrate, O'Neill. Snake town, remember?--

Weapon and flashlight at ready, he moved forward scanning for hidden devices or traps. As he surveyed the small room, circling around the central pedestal, Daniel was practically stepping on his heels followed closely by Carter, while Teal'c kept watch from the doorway. The complete circuit took a matter of minutes, and nothing the least bit untoward happened.

They approached the central fixture, and upon illuminating it with flashlights they began to get a clear picture of its purpose. The images engraved on the sides illustrated several sexual positions which could be assumed using the pedestal as a prop. Both women and men were being actively and creatively drilled by the, as ever, impressively endowed Min.

"Well, this just keeps getting better and better," Jack commented dryly. He was starting to feel a bit hot. "This what you were hoping for, Danny?"

"Not exactly." Daniel scanned the walls with his light. Nothing. "I was hoping for extensive engravings or even paintings explaining the history of the people who lived here and their relationship to Min. And while they were at it someone might have left a note saying where they were going when they left here. Or even detailed instructions on how to defeat Goa'uld mother ships since we're asking. But I would have settled for...something." He checked the ceiling, and indeed there was decoration there, but merely golden stars painted on a dark blue background. "Well. You see that a lot in Egyptian temples. Not really very significant."

Carter said, "Don't get too depressed yet, Daniel. There may be another chamber."

The two men looked at her in surprise, and asked in unison, "Really?"

She nodded. Tapping her sensor device she continued. "The energy readings we detected earlier do not emanate from this room. Near as I can tell, they're coming from beneath the floor. There must be something else down there.

Daniel's enthusiasm returned. "The floor! Of course!" He bent over and began inspecting the paving stones beneath their feet, giving Jack an excellent look at his exquisitely shaped rear end. Jack felt himself starting to get hard again, and hurriedly averted his eyes.

They fell on the picture of Min entering another man from behind as he bent over the table.

Try again. Stars. Nice twinkly little stars on a cool blue background. Unbelievably, he just got stiffer. -- Get it together, O'Neill. Think cold showers. Think jumping off the pier at the lake in early spring. Alone. Both things alone! Think large ice packs down the front of your trousers. --

It wasn't helping. In fact it was becoming damned uncomfortable, not to mention obvious. He shifted and plucked at the material of his pants.

He felt Carter's hand on his arm. "Sir, are you alright?"

He jumped away quickly. "Peachy. Daniel found anything yet?"

It was Daniel who answered. "Yeah, I think I found a trap door. It looks the same as the other paving stones , but the mortar around it is different." His voice didn't sound as thrilled as would be expected, and Jack moved around to where he could see him. Daniel was kneeling on the floor, a small sharp tool in one hand and a brush in the other. He'd untucked his T-shirt, and it was hanging wrinkled onto his thighs.

"So can you open it?"

"Yeah, I'll need some more tools though." He sounded dismayed. "I'm just going outside to have a look through my pack." He was on his feet and out the door in an instant.

Jack shot Carter a 'What's up with the geek?' look and followed him out.

Teal'c was standing just outside the outer doorway holding his staff weapon in front of himself, with a perplexed look on his face. Daniel had dragged his pack outside, but wasn't looking at it, just sitting beside it with his back to the temple, eyes closed.

Sam looked at the three of them, and asked, concerned, "Guys, what's going on? You're all acting weird."

Daniel and Jack said, again in unison, "Nothing!" while Teal'c merely shook his head.

Sam was growing alarmed. "Don't you nothing me! If you don't tell me what's going on, I'm going to assume you've been compromised." She put her hand on her side arm. "I remember how you were with Hathor, and I don't entirely trust you around fertility deities."

Daniel dropped his head forward and groaned, "God! That must be it. That must be what's causing it."

Teal'c nodded. "I believe you may be correct, DanielJackson."

Jack was confused. "Somebody want to fill me in?"

Teal'c looked at Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill, and maintaining as much dignity of expression as possible, replied, "I have recently become disturbingly tumescent for no apparent reason."

Carter's eyes widened. She glanced at the seated man's back. "Daniel?"

He didn't turn around. "I know you all think I get overly excited about archaeological finds, but really, I don't usually get painfully hard over a plain slab of granite."

She turned to Jack. "Sir?"

"I thought....I thought it was just me."

She paced back and forth a few times in the doorway. "So if you're all affected, then it stands to reason that there's something in the temple causing it. Specifically something in the sanctuary, since this didn't come up, er, happen until after we opened the door, right? I'll go have another look around in there."

Jack leaned against the wall and relaxed. -- Thank you God for Carter! If I ever complain about her scientific mind again, feel free to strike me down with a lightning bolt. She could be freaking out, or laughing, but no, she's gone to find a way to make it stop. What a woman. To know her is to love her. In the strictly non-biblical sense, of course.--

The unscheduled off world activation brought General Hammond striding into the control room just before the wormhole engaged. After a moment Sgt. Davis exclaimed, "It's SG1 sir. MALP telemetry coming through. It's a video transmission."

"Put it on the monitor." But the picture was already up.

Colonel O'Neill's slightly distorted face filled the screen. "General Hammond?"

"I'm here, Colonel. Go ahead."

"Sir, just calling in to report on our progress. Um, is Dr. Fraiser anywhere around?"

"Not immediately. Is there a problem? Is someone injured?" His mind flashed through several images of each member of SG1 being carried back in various states of brokenness.

"No sir, we're fine. There's just something I'd like to consult with her about if I could."

"I'll have her come down." He nodded to an airman, who lifted a handset to his ear. The General continued, "So what have you found, Colonel?"

"Well, we opened the sanctuary doors but there wasn't much inside, just some table that Daniel says is an altar. But Major Carter is sure that there's another chamber underneath the sanctuary, and that's where the Goa'uld technology is. Daniel's found a way to get in, and I've got a list of a few tools he says we might need to open it. I'll send it through along with a few other things we may be wanting; more lights, a rope ladder, stuff like that. It doesn't look too difficult so far. It's almost night here, so we'll go in in the morning"

Dr. Fraiser came in and walked over to General Hammond. "You wanted to see me sir?"

"Colonel O'Neill is on T5R-169 and would like to speak with you."

The woman faced the monitor and spoke into the microphone, "Colonel, it's Dr. Fraiser here. What can I do for you?"

"Uh, Doctor, is there any way that this conversation could be, um, private?"

"Colonel you know I'm standing in a fully staffed Control Room. That's not ever going to be very private. Why don't you tell me what's wrong."

The image wavered as O'Neill scrubbed his hands through his hair. "Well, I don't want to draw too close a comparison with Hathor, but there's something here that's affecting us guys in a not entirely dissimilar way." Doctor Fraiser and General Hammond looked at each other in alarm, but O'Neill went on. "There's no mind control, or anything like that, it's strictly a physical thing."

"What are the symptoms?"

"There's something... It's just making us...Um..."

A smile crept over Janet's face. "Libidinous?"

Jack sighed. "Carter thought you might use that word. I don't know if you've seen any of Daniel's pictures of Min."

"By now, Colonel, the whole base has seen those pictures. Everyone's most interested to see what else you'll be bringing back with you."

Jack cringed. "Right. Super. Well if you've seen the pictures, then you know what effect old Min's temple is going for. Minus the whip, that is. It's sort of a continual state, and damned uncomfortable I might add, though a man of my age shouldn't complain..."

The General interjected, "Son, it sounds like you folks had better get on back here and get checked out. This doesn't sound safe."

"Sir, Daniel thinks that this is all that's going to happen. He says it's something about the Goa'uld using technology to look like magic. To convince people that they're gods. So some poor schmuck comes over to Min's temple to ask for fertility or whatever, and a few minutes later he leaves sporting a... You get the idea. Daniel doesn't think it's likely to be anything dangerous, and he'd really like to finish opening up the temple. Says it won't take long tomorrow to get the floor open, then we'll have a quick look around and head home. What we were wondering, Doc, is if there's anything you could send us, you know, to relieve the pressure a little bit."

"Is Major Carter affected at all?"

"No, ma'am. This seems to be a special deal just for the men. She's been trying to find a device or whatever's causing it, but no luck so far. And Junior hasn't gotten Teal'c off the hook on this one, either."

"Colonel, there's no medication I can give you without a direct examination. If it's too much of a problem, then you'd better come back."

"How 'bout a cooler chest full of ice, or something?"

"I'll see what I can do. But seriously, if it's too uncomfortable get yourselves back here. Even if this technology is only what Doctor Jackson says, you probably aren't meant to be spending days in its influence. You can't be too careful when it comes to Goa'uld toys. Remember the Light?"

Jack's eyebrows shot up. "Geez, Doc, way to scare me to death!"

"That's the idea. Don't stay there a minute longer than you have to."

"You got it. If we can't turn the thing off, we'll be back tomorrow by 12:00 hours no matter what. How's that?"

"I can live with it. General?"

"All right, but don't take any unnecessary risks. It's not worth it."

"I know, sir, it's just that old question; what if what's in the basement really is worth it? We have to look. I'll send the list through now, and you can send the stuff whenever it's ready and we'll pick it up in the morning. O'Neill out."

"Good luck, son."

A rock with a piece of paper tied to it bounced onto the ramp and the wormhole closed.

Hammond was aware that the embarrassed, and fascinated, silence that had permeated the Control Room during the conversation was broken by several quiet whispers. Even the janitors would know about this within five minutes.

He turned to look at the bemused Doctor and shook his head. "It's always SG1, isn't it."

"You can say that again."

It was raining and they were trapped in their tents; Sam and Teal'c in one, and Jack and Daniel in the other. They weren't literally trapped, of course, but stepping outside meant getting a thorough soaking, and they weren't anxious to spend more than just their watch shifts either dripping or sheltering in a dark temple with nine foot tall naked gods looming over them.

Daniel and Jack lay on their backs on top of their respective sleeping bags. It was way too hot and humid to crawl inside them, and their clothes were not exactly fresh and dry either. Neither one made any move to strip off.

Daniel couldn't believe that he was still hard. It'd been what, 6 hours now since the effect started. He'd 'relieved' himself a couple of times, but it didn't really help. Oh, joy, a recovery time for the Guinness Book of World Records, and nowhere to use it. He wondered if the jungle had covered over a giant love nest/motel/brothel complex that once stood here. He was sure that Min's worshipers would have taken full advantage of the miracle penis enhancer. Maybe that's why they all died out, they couldn't stop screwing.

--Stop thinking about screwing!--
Damn hard to think about anything else. He sighed and shifted again on his bag, trying to find a way to stop his clothes pressing quite so tightly on the inflamed area.

"Can't get settled, huh?"

--Dammit, Jack, I just managed to forget for two seconds that you're less than an arm's length away.--

"No. It's hard to find a comfortable position, isn't it?"

"Oh, I don't know. What positions have you tried?"

"Quite a few. You might be able to show me some new ones, though."

"I have no doubt."

Daniel thought that it was probably a very bad idea to play this game right now. There was no way he was going to let anything happen while they were under the influence, and this banter was in no way relaxing. But it was so boring lying there listening to the rain, what else were they going to do? Time to change the subject.

"So, I wonder how Sam and Teal'c are getting along in the other tent."

"Whaddaya mean? They share a tent all the time. It's not like Teal'c's gonna jump her or anything."

"No, I know. I just mean it may be a little different this time, everybody's minds on sex and all. He likes her, you know."

"Teal'c likes Carter? As in LIKES, likes? How do you know that?"

"He told me. He said he wanted to understand standard human and military protocol around mating rituals before he made a formal approach to her. Asked me what I thought."

"He did? Why did he ask you? I'm supposed to be his 'brother' and everything."

"Maybe it's because we're both civilian consultants, and are in a similar position in regard to relationships with military personnel."

There was a short silence.

"What did you tell him?"

"That if he cared for her he should go for it. If it was meant to be then they could work it out."

"And how does she feel? Does she like him, too?"

"I think so. She hasn't said anything, but I've caught her looking at him a couple of times."

"That doesn't mean anything. I look at him all the time and I don't want to get in his pants."

"Ah. There's looking and then there's LOOKING. She was definitely doing the latter. I don't know, but I think they'd be great together. They just haven't figured it out yet."

"Kind of like us."

Daniel's heart jumped. That was the closest either of them had gotten to acknowledging right out loud what was happening between them. He thought about it for a second, swallowed the lump in his throat, and said, "Yeah. Kind of like us."

He considered their options here. Should they talk about it now, raise the stakes of the game? Sure, they were conveniently isolated, no distractions, except if you count those artificially induced hard-ons that were currently trying to do their thinking for them. He knew that his own was being damned insistent, and doubted that Jack would be doing any better. Maybe now wasn't the best time.

Jack broke the silence. "So, you know they could be doing anything over there, and we would never hear a thing."

Was Jack implying that the same was true for them? Daniel turned his head to look at the profile barely visible in the darkness. God, what a face. That was probably the most beautiful, noble, infuriatingly mobile face he'd ever seen. Every line an indication of how deeply the man felt things, and how much he'd had to carry. Eyes that looked right into your soul.

Daniel hadn't thought he could get any hotter. He'd been wrong. He'd better be careful not to touch the side of the tent, or it could go up in flames.

Suddenly there was the sound of hands clapping twice outside the tent, their signal that it was time to change watch. Daniel shot out of the flap without another word, and stood gladly in the rain, head hanging, watching steam rise from the overheated skin on his arms.

Sam bent over and looked into his face. "That bad, huh?"

"My god, Sam, I'm dying here."

She cupped one side of his face in the palm of her hand, and touched her lips to the other cheek. Like that helped! "You'll be alright." She winked at him and slid into her own tent.

He stood in the rain for a while, then settled onto the ground with his back against a tree letting the soothing water continue to wash over him. His eyes fell on the tent he shared with Jack, then slid to the other one. --You know, they could be doing anything in there...--

Early the next morning Jack went back to the Stargate to retrieve the requested supplies. Along with the tools was a small pouch. Inside it were several smallish elastic bands. The note with it read, 'If you can reduce the engorgement, slide this ring on and it should prevent re-expansion. This should ONLY be used for short term relief. DO NOT wear this for more than one hour at a time. Good luck. JF'

That was the best she could come up with? Kind of the reverse principle to the cock ring? Jack shook his head in horror. He wasn't that desperate yet. When he showed them to Daniel, the younger man grimaced, but took one and put it in his pocket. Jack had to explain the entire principle to Teal'c, who listened with growing amazement. He examined the size of the elastic band, then stretched it between his fingers and shot it into the forest. Nuf said.

Jack slipped into commander mode. "Alright, people. Let's get this mission over with. You two," he pointed to Carter and Teal'c, "begin by getting some breakfast ready. Coffee. We need lots of coffee. We'll get started right away on opening the hatch. No dawdling, kids. I want off this planet ASAP."

Inside the sanctuary Daniel knelt on one side of the paving stone working his way through the mortar with a long, thin, file-like instrument. Jack knelt on the other side doing the same. It seemed like the morning was even hotter than yesterday, and they were already dripping with sweat. Again. Still. When Daniel turned and bent to his work, Jack could clearly see the lines of the muscles along his back and shoulders, emphasized as they were by the clinging, wet T-shirt. Lord have mercy!

Digging away, Daniel glanced up at him mischievously a few times, then said, "I have a question."

--Oh, I'm just sure you do!--

"Yes, Daniel?"

"Yesterday, when you had to, you know, open the door, you weren't in here more than three or four minutes. I admit that I was very impressed by that. So how did you do it?"

--So that was how he wants to play it. I'm there!--

"Oh, pretty much the usual way. Do you want me to draw you a diagram?"

"But Jack, I mean three minutes! What could you possibly have been doing to... Three minutes?"

"I was thinking about something so incredibly sexy that I'm surprised it took that long. Someone. You."

Daniel stopped and looked up at Jack with a 'deer in the headlights' look, which slowly transformed into something like smugness. -- Bring it on, Space Monkey!--

The archaeologist returned to his work. "Me? You can't possibly think I'm sexy. I'm just a geeky science dweeb, after all."

"Oh, come off it. If there ever was a time when you weren't sexy, it must have been before we met. You used to have a sweet, innocent come-and-hug-me look, but lately... You know how hot you are now! That body all filled out and dripping with masculine strength. Those full, soft lips that are just begging to be kissed. You've got people walking into walls and dropping things when you walk by in the hall."

"That is SO not true! I happen to know for a fact that you are the one most of the people on base are lusting after. The way you go around with that athletic physique of yours, so sure of your own power. With that GQ rugged face and salt and pepper hair that makes people want to run their fingers through it. Those hands that would make anyone feel..." He faltered, loosing his breath.

Jack picked up the ball. "Salt and pepper? That's called gray, Daniel, as in old. I'm way past being lusted after."

Daniel shook his head. "Some men just get better with age. You're one of them. Deal with it."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"No way. It's you."

"Is not."


"No, you."

They stopped working and simply sat there staring at each other. Someone had turned the heat up another notch.

From outside Carter's voice sounded, "Breakfast is ready!"

After breakfast the pair went back to work. They were both quiet, either lost in thought or nervous about how fast this was all happening. After about 15 minutes, they heard footsteps enter the temple, and quiet laughter. Not Sam's, Teal'c's.

They stopped what they were doing, and both leaned back so they could see out the sanctuary doorway and into the hall.

Sam and Teal'c stood facing each other, one on either side of the statue of Min. Sam appeared to be running her hand over the foot long stone phallus. She tipped her head and looked up at Teal'c with an expression on her face that neither of them had ever seen before. She said, "This guy may be a god, he's got absolutely nothing on you."

Teal'c responded with a highly pleased twitch of the lips. "Thank you, SamanthaCarter."

"No, Teal'c, thank you."

They stood there, obviously sharing a moment.

The other two slowly leaned back toward their work space. Daniel pointed a finger at Jack. "Don't you laugh. Don't you dare say one word." Jack was incapable of speech. He shrugged his shoulders and grinned.

Sam stuck her head in the doorway and announced, "We're going to walk the perimeter now, sir."

O'Neill choked out, "You do that. Have a good time."

She looked at him strangely. "Right sir, thanks."

A few minutes after they'd gone, Daniel exclaimed, "That's it! I've found the latch." He brought over another similar tool, this one with a hook on the end, and angled it down between the stones. After a moment a sharp snapping noise sounded from under the floor.

"That's got it. Help me lever up the stone." They inserted some wider, stronger bars into the narrow space, and soon had the paving stone standing upright on its hinges.

"I'll get the ladder." Jack returned quickly with the additional equipment, and they shined the light down into the space below them. It was smaller than the sanctuary, not more than three by four feet, no decoration at all. There was a small metallic box sitting on the floor in one corner.

Jack rigged up the ladder, and taking a flashlight descended first into the hole. A moment later Daniel landed behind him. It was tight in there. Jack could smell Daniel's musky scent, feel the heat rising from his body. There didn't seem to be enough air.

Daniel squeezed by Jack brushing their chests together, and knelt by the box. After inspecting it for a moment, he looked over his shoulder and said excitedly, "This must be it, the Goa'uld machine. I wonder what it is?"

Jack was just leaning forward for a better look when Daniel turned. The young man's shoulder bumped Jack's aching erection, and the pain almost caused him to pass out. Gasping, he stepped back and grabbed the rope ladder with one hand to keep from falling down.


He barely registered the alarmed look on his friend's face. "I...I can't do this. I need to get out of here. Don't touch anything."

Jack pulled himself up the ladder and flung himself onto the cool floor. Stumbling out of the temple into the sunlight he almost collided with Teal'c and Carter returning from patrol.

As they stared at him, he said, "We found the Goa'uld techno-thingy. Knock yourselves out. I'll be outside breathing."

Jack lurched around the corner and through the undergrowth toward the back of the building. He finally stopped and braced his arms against a tree trunk, letting his head fall loosely between them. The pain ebbed, but his pants were still too tight. He felt raw, physically and emotionally, and sucked in deep breaths to try to get his strength back. He dropped one hand to rest on top of his straining cock, but it wasn't right. His own wasn't the hand he wanted there. That wasn't good enough any more.

After a few minutes Jack started to feel human again. But this had to stop. He couldn't think straight. His entire awareness was focused on his need for Daniel, and it was becoming a danger to the team, to Daniel. They'd all be better off if he went back to Earth and let them finish without him.

--That's right, flyboy. It finally got too hot, time to get out of the kitchen.--


Pushing himself away from the tree, O'Neill turned to face the man standing a few feet behind him. Worry shone from Daniel's face, and a kind of acceptance.

"Jack, you can't go on like this. You have to get some relief." He held up the elastic ring. "Try it."

Jack slowly shook his head from side to side in negation.

Daniel took a step forward. "Please, Jack, then let me help you."


He moved forward to stand in front of the older man. "I want to."

As Jack stared at him open mouthed, Daniel dropped to his knees. His hands reached up and unzipped the fly of Jack's trousers.

Jack tried to take a step back, but Daniel wouldn't let go. "Stay."

He drew back the material and freed the throbbing flesh from its prison.

Jack groaned and threw his head back as the air caressed his aching skin. After a moment he opened his eyes and looked back down. Daniel was still kneeling in front of him, his wide blue eyes fixed on the upright organ, standing out of its frame of green cloth. He reached up and ran his fingertips along the underside of Jack's penis from base to head, and held the weight of the swollen tip with two fingers.

Jack's mind froze. Nothing existed in the universe except for the touch of those fingertips. Except for those blue eyes which shifted up to lock with Jack's own. Except for that mouth, slightly open, lips forming an 'O' of surprise. A mouth that could conceivably open farther and approach his cock. "Oh God!"

A shudder jolted through him, and he suddenly angled away and grabbed onto Daniel's shoulder to steady himself as his come spurted skyward before falling in a stream back to the soil.

Gasping, tears forming behind his eyelids, he looked for Daniel again. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean... Just looking at you. Just looking at you I... Jesus!"

Daniel looked slightly shocked, but a smile tugged at his lips.

"That's alright. It's pretty obvious that you really needed to do that. It's just that I didn't get to participate as much as I wanted to." His eyes dropped back to Jack's groin. "Maybe we're not entirely done yet."

Sliding his hands around to the back of Jack's thighs, Daniel leaned forward and took the slightly softened organ into his mouth. The wet warmth completely blew Jack's mind. He leaned into the sensation, his hands coming up to lock into Daniel's hair. God, he'd wanted this. Daniel's mouth on his cock, his tongue tickling the head. Sucking. Taking him in farther. So good. He'd really wanted this. "Oh God, Daniel!"

But there was something he wanted even more. Moaning, he pushed Daniel's shoulders back until the other man reluctantly released him. He grabbed the young man's upper arms and lifted him to a standing position, holding him close so that his erection was pressed between them. Pressed against Daniel's own.

He felt arms encircle him as he took Daniel's face between his hands. Jack looked deeply into the electric eyes facing his, then leaned his head forward to bring their lips together. His whole body was on fire, but the lips on his felt cool and soft. It felt like a welcome into a home he never knew he owned. Kissing Daniel completed the connection between them, binding them at the heart level as well as the groin.

The kiss was gentle, loving. They tasted and nibbled each other's mouths amidst the dripping tropical foliage for what seemed like forever. Eventually Daniel broke the contact, and whispered, "So this isn't just about Min's effect on us, is it?"

"What do you think, Danny?"

"I think it's for real."

"For real and forever."

Daniel felt lost in the sensations flowing through his body. He'd imagined holding Jack many times, but the reality was beyond any fantasy. Jack's body was so firm and strong, yet it molded itself to his own as though it had been designed for that purpose. And those hands that had done so much, in service, in anger, in protection, were melting into his face and skull, claiming Daniel in tenderness. And Jack was kissing him. Jack. Was. Kissing. Him. They were kissing each other, and it was as easy and natural as breathing.

Daniel could feel, from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head, that this didn't have a thing to do with any artificially induced state of sexual arousal. He needed confirmation, though.

"What do you think, Danny?"

"I think it's for real."

"For real and forever."

--Yes, please let it be!--
A sudden wave of fear washed into the mix. He'd lost so much, he didn't want to...couldn't...lose this too. The fear was replaced by an upwelling of determination. If he didn't want to lose this, then he'd just have to hold on tight. He'd have to fight for it, nurture it, protect it. He'd hold on to his Jack.

He slid his hand down between their bodies and took firm hold of Jack's burning flesh. The other man tensed in shock at the contact, gasping and pulling back slightly. A sultry smile spread across Daniel's face and he stepped away. Maintaining his hold, he guided Jack a few steps over to the wall of the building, where he positioned him with his back to the stone, and pushed him against the hard surface with his whole body, crushing some creeping vines behind them. He briefly took Jack's mouth again, this time delving deeply with his tongue, then whispered against his lover's lips, "What do you want Jack? Tell me what you want."

The other man was still; eyes closed, arms hanging by his sides. His penis twitched in Daniel's hand. "I want you naked. I want your weight on me. I want you inside me."

Daniel thought, --I can take care of some of that right now!-- He released the throbbing organ long enough to pull his T-shirt off, unzip his pants, and let them fall to pool around his booted feet. He then angled his pelvis forward to let his own erection slide alongside the other one.

Jack gasped again, and his eyes flew open, taking in the slightly dazed expression on the beautiful face in front of him, then traveling down the smooth, muscular chest to where their sexes kissed. Well would you look at that! That was the most incredible, stunning sight he'd ever seen.

He ran his hands lightly up Daniel's arms, feeling a shiver beneath his fingers, then moved them down along the sides of the other man's ribcage, drinking in the smoothness of the skin. Sliding his hands around to cover Daniel's butt, he pulled the body against him, and went in for another kiss. Daniel responded by grinding his pelvis into Jack's and rubbing his sensitive skin against the rough texture of Jack's uniform.

This was so unbelievably erotic; Daniel's perfect, lovely body bared just for him, offered for his pleasure. Jack tried to touch all of it at the same time, moving against Daniel as he wriggled enthusiastically under the caresses. Their cocks slid against each other, sandwiched between the contrasting textures of skin and cloth. The speed of their urgent movements increased until they were unaware of anything but the burning need in their groins. Daniel clutched the fabric of the back of Jack's T-shirt desperately, and Jack dug his fingers into the firm flesh of Daniel's ass.

Then it was too much, and they came, nearly together, coating each other with the evidence of their passion. Daniel groaned and collapsed against Jack, who was very glad for the solid stone wall holding them up. They panted against each other's cheeks, and Jack ran his hands soothingly up and down Daniel's back. After a moment he moved them around to rest on Daniel's chest, and levered him away just enough so that they were looking into each other's faces.

"Daniel. I love you. You know that, right?"

"Yes. I love you too."

"And you do know that I'm in love with you, don't you?"

Daniel murmured shyly, "I'd hoped so."

"Why? Why did you hope so. Tell me, Daniel. Say it."

"Because I think I'm in love with you, too."

"You think?"

"I'm pretty sure. I've never felt like this before, but I suspect being in love is an adequate place to start to describe it. It doesn't seem like quite enough, though."

"Well, you keep working on it and let me know what else you figure out, okay?"

"I'll do that."

"Let me give you something else to ponder."

Jack pushed Daniel back a step, then dropped to his knees in the space between them. He leaned forward and rubbed his nose and lips into the humid hair around the base of Daniel's penis, taking in the scent and texture. He nipped light kisses along the growing length, smiling as he heard Daniel groan, "Jesus, Jack!"

The older man ran his hands up the backs of Daniel's naked legs, cupped his buttocks, and pulled him forward taking the shaft into his mouth. Daniel braced his hands against the wall behind Jack, trying to hold himself still, but Jack increased his provocation. As he drew his head forward and back to pump the straining cock between his lips, he held Daniel's hips and rocked them slightly into the motion. Overhead, Daniel croaked out, "Oh my god. Oh my god." --This seems to be working for him, then. Very good. Danny-Boy, we're just getting started!--

He began to suck enthusiastically at the fragrant and tasty treat in his mouth, bracing up Daniel's legs as he felt the knees start to tremble. He thought, --Remember the door incident, Danny? Payback time!--

Jack rocked them together in a deep, sensual rhythm, and was rewarded by Daniel arching his spine and throwing his head back in ecstasy. Hands grabbed onto Jack's head as Daniel fought to stay standing, then tightened as his body stilled to shoot its seed deep into Jack's throat. Jack swallowed and sucked and licked until Daniel's knees gave way and he melted down into the other man's waiting arms. Face burrowing into Jack's neck, he mumbled, "You are my god. I will worship your greatness for all eternity."

"Can I get that in writing?"

"You'll get it however you want it, oh majestic one. But I'm going to want to get you naked very soon."

"How 'bout tonight at my place?"

"I suppose I'll have to wait."

A large drop of water plopped noisily onto Daniel's naked shoulder. They both looked at it, and then were suddenly drenched as the heavens poured gallons of water per second over their heads. They scrambled to their feet laughing at the exuberance of nature. Daniel opened his arms wide and let the rain shower him clean, then struggled to pull his soaking clothes back on. Jack flapped the front of his T-shirt in the downpour, rinsing off the aromatic stains. Then hand in hand they stumbled through the tropical vegetation back to the front of the temple. As they burst through the doors, they encountered Sam and Teal'c in the hall wrapping the Goa'uld device in a blanket.

"That it Carter?"

"Yes, sir. All it is, is the device that was generating the physical effects. I turned it off about a half an hour ago. Teal'c felt the difference right away, didn't you?"

They glanced at each other, and Daniel answered, "Not immediately, no. But I'm certainly feeling better now."

Carter and Teal'c shot each other 'I told you so/Indeed you were correct SamanthaCarter' looks.

The rain outside stopped just as quickly as it started.

Sam straightened up. "Great! We're going to carry this back to the gate and get it packed for transit. Then we'll come back and break the camp down, if you want to finish up in here."

"Sure. Do me a favor Carter. Before you take that thing apart, be sure to turn it on for a while in the SGC. I think the only way we're ever going to live this down is if everyone else gets a little taste of it, too. Just warn me before you do it."

"So you can be sure to not be around?"

Jack fought a losing battle to keep a smug expression off his face. He looked at Daniel. "Not necessarily."

Equipment all packed up and ready to go, Jack and Daniel were sitting on the floor in one of the alcoves between pillars. Jack was leaning against the wall with his arms wrapped around Daniel, whose head was resting back on a supporting shoulder. They were looking into the dim room, with a view of the central statue, listening to the sound of Sam's light and Teal'c's deep voices coming from outside.

Jack said, "Who'd've thought that I'd ever be grateful to a Goa'uld for anything? But our friend Min has been responsible for a lot of good things in the last 24 hours. Us. Them. Life is good."

"And it'll only get better from here, Jack, if we let it."

"That's my plan, rock-boy."

Teal'c called in to them, "DanielJackson, O'Neill, we are ready to depart."

"Okay, kids, let's go home."

Teal'c positioned the MALP and then the FRED, carrying all the equipment, the box and one of the smaller statues from the temple, ready to send them back through the gate. Carter dialed the address and entered the code. After the vehicles had rumbled and whined through the circle, Sam and Teal'c followed.

As Jack and Daniel approached the event horizon, Jack said, "So this ancient Egyptian mythology stuff might not be so boring after all. You got a book you could lend me?"

Daniel responded in mock shock, "You're going to read a book?"

"Well, maybe you could highlight some of the juicy bits."

"Maybe I could just read you the juicy bits in bed."

"I'm suddenly developing a whole new appreciation for literature!"

They stepped into the shimmering blue field.

Continued in Chief of Heaven: Trial by Fire
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