"…And while we went nuts exploring, we ran into a bunch a people called Kryptonites."
"Calonites, Jack! And we didn’t go "nuts" exploring, I wanted to make sure those columns we found were from a single structure and that others weren't nearby."
"Right… anyway, General, they were a pleasurable group but had weird beliefs. They're under this impression that bigger animals make tastier meals."
Daniel sighed, "…not really an accurate interpretation but… oh well."
"As I was saying, I drew them an elephant sized against my height. They all got ecstatic and uh, started salivating profusely… ewww."
"Jack, just get on with it."
"I am Daniel, pipe down."
"Sorry sir. They required tasting an elephant to seal our deal. I told them that would be difficult but I could get them elephant ears. Still drooling heavily, they wholeheartedly agreed."
"So, that's what's down there in that box?"
Hammond frowned. "Colonel, you do realize elephant ears are actually a doughy dessert, not really made from elephants."
"Yes Sir, but I figured what they don’t know can't hurt 'em and if it gets us our contract then why not?"
While everyone including Hammond rolled their eyes, Jack leaned back smugly.