Get Promoted, Receive a Free Gift by Sistine
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Category: Jack/Daniel
Genres: Established Relationship, Humor
Rated: Teen
Warnings: None
Series: None
Summary: Sequel to "End of an Era". Jack asks Paul Davis why he hasn’t been promoted in ten years and then does something about it.

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Story Notes:
Inspired by AnnO’s wonderful comment that Jack should ‘give Davis the promotions due to him and shove him in Carter’s direction’ :) Oh - should I mention that my sense of humour may be slightly warped?
Major Paul Davis stepped into the room, on important business. “General--”

“Davis!” Jack greeted the younger man enthusiastically. He desperately wanted a break from the monotonous paperwork and had just been contemplating whether calling Daniel on the Pentagon’s phone for ‘non-business purposes’ (ie. phone sex) would be allowed. “Please tell me I’m needed somewhere.”

“Uh, no, sir, you’re not. I just need you to sign this paper,” Davis replied, holding said paper out in front of him.

With a sigh, Jack snatched the piece of paper from Davis, scribbled his signature on the bottom without reading anything first, and handed it back. Then something occurred to him. “Major?”

“Yes, sir?” Davis’ expression became somewhat wary.

“Why are you still a Major? I mean, how long have you been associated with the SGC now?” Jack asked even though he knew the answer.

“Nearly ten years, sir.”

“And have you actually put in for a promotion in all that time?”

Davis hesitated for a moment and then stated, “No.”

“Why not?” Jack would have thought that the man, being so career military and everything, would have made General before he did.

“Because I like my work, sir,” Davis replied, his expression giving the appearance of honesty.

“And…” Jack prompted; there had to be something more.

“And because I would rather leave the hard decisions up to someone else.”

Jack grinned. “So would I but unfortunately, someone decided that I would be good at making those decisions. So here I am. Too bad I can’t do something about the paperwork.” He thought for a moment. “Hey, if I promoted you to, say, Brigadier-General or something, you could do all the paperwork and I could retire to Minnesota, and you could just call me whenever you needed help with a decision.”

Davis’ eyes widened in shock. “Uh, no, sir but thank-you. I think I’ll just stick with being a Major.”

“Nope, I’ve decided. Where are the forms for promotion?” Jack started tossing papers around on his desk, trying to find what he wanted.

“But sir--”

“Davis, you’re getting promoted and that’s that,” Jack insisted as he finally found the forms. “Ah-ha!” He grabbed a pen and started writing.


“Did I mention that the promotion comes with a guaranteed relationship with Colonel Carter?” Jack added, certain it would make the Major give in.

“Uh…” Davis hesitated. He’d had his eye on Carter for many years now - as well as a certain blue-eyed civilian - and to have the chance to finally get her into bed… “Okay. I’ll do it.”

“Good.” Jack completed the form and handed it over to Davis. “As your last official act as a Major, go hand that to whoever makes the decisions. Then come back here and take over for me. As soon as I fill out the retirement papers, I’ll be off to pound Daniel through the mattress.” The thought filled him with an urgency that definitely couldn’t wait. More papers were flung into the air as Jack searched for the papers that would allow him to retire.

“Can I join you, sir? One last fling before I get Colonel Carter?”

Jack looked incredulously at him, amazed that Davis had even asked. “No, you can’t, Major. Daniel is a one-man man. Mine! Now go away.”

“Yes, sir!” Davis saluted the General, who had gone back to searching, and then hurried out the door, eager to get to his new girlfriend…


Jack suddenly woke, horny and confused. What had all that been about? He turned over to talk it over with Daniel but found that the linguist wasn’t in bed with him. “Daniel?” he called out.

The younger man opened the door and stepped out from the en suite bathroom, then switched off the light so that the bedroom was flooded in darkness again. “You yelled?”

“I just had the weirdest dream,” Jack stated as Daniel slid into bed beside him. He pulled his lover to him and inserted one leg between the younger man’s. “I was in my office and I promoted Davis to Brigadier-General and I gave Carter to him as well.”

Daniel chuckled at the thought of Jack giving Sam away like that. He rested his hand on Jack’s side and tried to ignore the erection that his partner was currently pressing against his groin; the dream had to have had something else in it as well, he figured, but he wasn’t going to ask. “I think the meaning’s pretty clear: you want Sam to have another relationship and since you know Paul admires her, and he was in your office today anyway, your sub-conscious decided it should be him. Either that, or it was the curry.”

Jack was silent for a moment, mulling things over. Then, slowly, he said, “Do you think Carter needs an administrative assistant over in Atlantis? Davis is perfectly qualified and--”

“No.” Daniel silenced Jack’s hopes with that single word. “You are not going to match-make those two. So go back to sleep, Jack.” He turned over so that his back was to his lover and pulled Jack’s arm over to rest on his waist.

“What about Carter and--”

Daniel turned over again so he could kiss Jack long and hard; that was the only guaranteed way to make him shut up.

“You know, I outed us to Davis in my dream,” Jack said when he surfaced from the kiss. “He wanted to join us for a threesome--”

Ninety-nine percent of the time anyway; he had to use different tactics for the other one percent. Daniel rolled Jack over onto his back and then covered the older man’s body with his own. Time to make Jack forget all about that dream.


In another part of Washington, Paul Davis awoke from a sound sleep, his heart racing. He’d had the strangest dream where he had been promoted several ranks by General O’Neill and offered Colonel Carter as a lover, and then there was something about a threesome with O’Neill and Daniel. Dismissing it as pure fantasy, Davis turned over and closed his eyes. His last thought before drifting off to sleep was that the dream would make a great scenario for his latest Wormhole Extreme slashfic featuring Colonel Danning, Doctor Levant, and a dashing admin assistant from the Pentagon…
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