Jack sat across the table from Fraiser. Her expression was the one he always thought of as her 'game face'--the one that wouldn't betray anything. Unfortunately it had already betrayed one thing. Doc only ever wore the game face when the news was bad, with a capital B.
"Doctor Fraiser," General Hammond said, "what can you tell of us about Doctor Jackson's condition?"
Next to Jack, Carter coughed, a rough sound, legacy of her exposure to the chemicals that had resulted in Daniel now lying in the infirmary. He poured her a glass of water, pushed it towards her.
"We've stabilized Doctor Jackson's condition at the moment," Fraiser answered, glancing at her notes. She folded her hands and let her gaze rest on each of them in turn. "Doctor Jackson experienced prolonged exposure to a chemical fire. Major Carter and Doctors Reston and Gonzales provided information on the chemicals' composition. While Major Carter experienced some exposure, medically she will recover. Daniel is currently on oxygen. His lungs have been damaged severely, as has his heart. He breathed in far more of the chemicals than Major Carter."
"But he will recover, right?" Jack demanded.
Fraiser didn't respond at first, and Jack felt his stomach grow cold. He looked at Teal'c, who stared back unblinking.
"What is Doctor Jackson's prognosis?" General Hammond asked. His voice sounded none too steady, Jack noticed.
"We'll do our best to keep Doctor Jackson's condition stable," Fraiser replied, "but the damage is permanent. He's been placed on the national organ transplant list, but quite frankly, the chances of receiving multiple organs..." She paused and bowed her head before looking back up at them. "I'm sorry. I wish I had better news."
Jack wanted to yell but kept his voice calm. "You mean to tell me with all we've learned over the years, all the technology we've discovered, there's not a damn thing you can do for him?"
"I'm sure Janet is doing all she can," Carter said, her voice gravelly. "And we can contact the Tok'ra, try to get in contact with the Asgard."
"You mean if they decide to honor us with their presence," Jack commented, his tone bitter.
"It's a chance," Carter countered and then coughed again.
"Yeah, well it doesn't sound like Daniel has too much of one, does it?" Jack broke a pencil he didn't even remember picking up.
* * * *
"O'Neill."
Jack ignored Teal'c and continued beating the crap out of the punching bag. He should have known it wouldn't work. Teal'c just grabbed the bag and held it still. It was like punching a rock.
"You will cease," Teal'c said and then stepped between the bag and Jack. Jack held out his hands in a gesture of surrender.
"What's going on?" Jack asked, going for nonchalance and sounding anything but.
"Daniel Jackson wonders why you have not yet visited."
"I've visited," Jack insisted and turned away. It wasn't a lie--he had visited. Late at night, when Daniel slept, when Daniel couldn't see Jack's reaction, when all Jack did was sit and watch Daniel breathe.
"There is no one to blame for this," Teal'c continued.
"Like hell there isn't." Jack raised his hand to punch something, anything, and let it drop to his side. "What the hell did he think he was doing running back into that building? What about the bureaucrats who knew the building was being used as a storehouse for illegal chemicals?"
"Daniel Jackson believed there were still people inside, and the people who ignored the violations of the codes have been punished by their court system." Teal'c regarded Jack--Jack hated it when Teal'c looked at him that way. "It is not your fault either, O'Neill."
"I should have been the one to go in there," Jack replied. "It should have been me."
"Then you would be lying in the infirmary. I do not believe it does Daniel Jackson any good by attempting to assign blame. Daniel Jackson needs us--needs SG-1, around him."
"To help him die, you mean," Jack pointed out.
"If that is what is meant to occur, then yes, to help him die."
Jack raised his hand to throw a punch and then let it fall to his side. Damn he hated when Teal'c was right.
* * * *
"Hey." Jack knocked on the bedside table.
The last time he'd seen Daniel, the other man had been limp and unresponsive--his face blackened with soot. Daniel's face now was leached of color, and Jack swore that despite the oxygen being fed to him by a nasal cannula, Daniel's lips were tinged slightly blue. At least Daniel was sitting up, well propped up. Jack thought this was positive until he realized that most likely Daniel couldn't breathe very well in any other position.
"Hi." Daniel's voice was hoarse and it sounded as if even that one syllable took a lot more effort than it should have.
"So...you getting sick of hanging around here?" Jack asked.
Daniel raised his eyebrows in the way that meant he didn't appreciate Jack's sense of humor--funny how that expression didn't change. He rolled his head on the pillow. "Not like there's anywhere...else to go." He pushed at some paper lying on his lap. "Jan...et said I'll be trans...ported to Acad..."
"No way," Jack answered. He lowered his voice when Daniel frowned. "I have a big house. You can stay with me," he said without thinking. He forged on, suddenly knowing that this was right. "Look, we can set up any medical stuff you need at the house. I'm sure the SGC will send any nurses you need..." He stopped when he looked at Daniel who was watching him with an unchanging expression. "What?"
"Yes," Daniel told him. "Yes...I'd like...that."
Jack covered Daniel's hand with his and smiled, despite his fear when he felt how cold Daniel's fingers were.
* * * *
Of course it wasn't as easy as Jack simply getting Daniel in his truck and taking him home. There were meetings with Daniel and his cardiologist and pulmonary specialist and schedules of home care to be set up. There was the whole'getting the house ready' thing since Daniel was going to be tethered to oxygen and wasn't going to be walking up or down any steps. Then there were the medicines to straighten out and Jack learning what to do to make things easier for Daniel. By the end of the week, Jack understood the enormity of the undertaking. But then there was the way Daniel smiled each time Jack would mention that they were one day closer to Daniel going home and it made everything worthwhile even though Jack was scared out of his wits.
"So you ready to skedaddle?" Jack asked Daniel at the end of the week.
"Ske...daddle?" Daniel gave a little huff of laughter. Jack noticed he pulled himself straighter in the wheelchair though. A canister was tucked next to his side, the ever-present cannula providing him with much-needed oxygen.
"You have a better word?" Jack released the brakes on the chair and began to push him through the infirmary. "Carter and Teal'c said they might come over later this evening if you're up to it." Keep it light, Jack told himself. Keep it light.
"I'd like...that." Daniel said. He hadn't lost the raspy quality in his voice--yet another bit of damage from the fire.
"Good," Jack replied.
The elevator ride to the surface was silent, except for the sound of the oxygen hissing into Daniel's nose and the somewhat labored sound of Daniel's breath.
Jack was grateful it was spring when he took Daniel outside--he doubted cold air would have been good for Daniel's lungs. The air was balmy--not too hot, but warm enough.
"You don't have to do this." Daniel put his hands out as if he was going to stop the chair but then rested them back in his lap. Jack's gut twisted at the little gesture--recognition by Daniel of his lack of strength.
Daniel might not have been able to stop the wheelchair but Jack did have that power. He stopped before they got very far and then came around to the front and squatted in front of Daniel. "I want to do this." Jack took off his sunglasses and looked at Daniel squarely. "If you think you'll be unhappy, we can find another arrangement. But I want to do this."
Daniel stared back at him for a long moment and then gave a small nod. "No. I want to..."
"Good. Then enough said." Jack got up, suppressing a groan at the twinge in his knees and resumed pushing the chair towards his truck.
* * * *
Sam watched Daniel as they shared a quiet meal at Colonel O'Neill's house. She missed having him at the SGC--she couldn't count the number of times she'd picked up the phone in her lab to ask him a question before she remembered he was no longer there, or the times she'd headed to his lab only to realize she wouldn't find him there. He looked across the table at her, his face thin and pale, and smiled. She smiled back and reached over to cover his hand with hers. She kept the smile on her face even as she felt how his cold fingers slightly trembled in hers.
She didn't ask how he was feeling--she'd learned that question was forbidden ever since he'd come to stay at the colonel's house. At least it was for her. She was sure Colonel O'Neill was intimately acquainted with Daniel's ups and downs. What would have been the point anyway? Daniel was failing, dying by inches, but dying nonetheless.
"Sam?" Daniel's brow was wrinkled and he wore a slight frown. "You..." He motioned towards her face.
Huh. She reached up and felt wetness. "Sorry," she said, ducking her head and using the napkin to wipe at her eyes. "Must be the onions." She made a show of moving the small bowl of chopped onions towards the colonel and Teal'c.
Daniel nodded. "Must...be." He looked away from her, towards the walker that stood beside his chair.
"You tired?" she asked softly with a quick glance towards Colonel O'Neill.
Daniel didn't waste breath answering but instead put his hands on the walker. She saw him close his eyes as if gathering strength to rise but before he could do it on his own, Colonel O'Neill was beside him, helping him up with a gentleness Sam envied.
She felt anger build within her as Daniel made his slow way into the den with the colonel, his body tethered to the oxygen that he needed all the time. Where was her father? Why couldn't the Tok'ra make an effort to respond? And the Asgard--what about them? After all that SG-1, more importantly, all that Daniel had done and sacrificed for others, this was his fate? A hot tear splashed on the back of her hand, and she felt herself being enveloped in a hug.
"Carter," Colonel O'Neill said very quietly.
She buried her face further into his sweatshirt and wept, not wanting Daniel to hear her, not wanting him to feel any burden. Teal'c was there too, his large hand a heavy weight on her shoulder. It wasn't fair, she wanted to scream. It wasn't fair but it was reality, and for Daniel's sake, for Daniel's peace, she had no choice but to make his remaining time with them the best it could be.
* * * *
"O'Neill." Teal'c didn't hesitate in approaching the man so intently attacking the weeds in his backyard.
O'Neill looked up, his expression one of alarm. "Is something wrong with Dan...?"
"Doctor Fraiser is with Daniel Jackson," Teal'c told him, not surprised to see O'Neill quickly school his expression to one of neutrality. "She sent me from the house."
There was a thud as O'Neill's hoe struck a rock. "Yeah. She likes to do that."
Teal'c knelt on the grass and began to pull some of the greenery. O'Neill abandoned the hoe not long after and sat down next to Teal'c.
"He's getting worse,T." He pointed to a plant Teal'c was about to pull. "Not that. That's supposed to be there."
Teal'c nodded and then turned to face the other man. "The anniversary of Daniel Jackson's natal day is in two days."
"You think Daniel should have a birthday party?"
"Daniel Jackson should have the chance to celebrate any holiday he chooses," Teal'c replied. "Unless Jacob Carter appears, it is likely he will not have opportunity to celebrate others."
O'Neill was silent a long while, his throat working as he struggled to maintain control. "This shouldn't be happening," he finally said.
Teal'c began to pull weeds again. "Daniel Jackson has always enjoyed Christmas."
He heard O'Neill whisper yes and then the other man got to his feet and headed into the house. Teal'c looked at the half-done flower bed and bowed his head a moment before he returned to his self-appointed task.
* * * *
The sky was filled with stars--Jack couldn't remember the last time he'd seen so many. Probably on a night off-world where there was no light pollution. The strains of Bing Crosby singing "White Christmas" floated out into the July warmth. Beside him, Daniel let out a small sigh.
"Thank you," Daniel whispered, his voice barely audible.
"You had a good time today," Jack said, more statement than question.
"Yes." Daniel was silent awhile, but Jack was aware of every breath, every small movement his friend made. He wished the moment could last forever--that he'd have Daniel by his side. It felt...right. He hadn't realized how right it felt until now when each minute took Daniel another breath away from him. God he was selfish bastard.
"Jack." He felt Daniel's hand touch his, and he turned his own hand palm up and then clasped cold fingers in his. "I...need to tell you."
"No," Jack whispered, not because anyone could overhear but because he was afraid if he tried to speak any louder, the tightness in his throat would turn to a cry of anguish.
"Listen to...me." Cold fingers tightened around his with surprising strength. "I know...I don't have...much time. You...need to know. Thank you for...everything. Being my...friend. You didn't have...to do..."
Jack put his index finger against Daniel's lips. "Shh. And no, it wasn't, it isn't a burden. You could never be a burden." He smiled as he saw Daniel's eyes widen. "You know darn well you were going to say that next."
He felt Daniel's lips turn up in an answering smile and moved his finger to wipe away tears that were falling unheeded.
"I want you...to know. I need...I love you, Jack."
Jack brushed his thumb against Daniel's cheek. "Thank God."
"You...love me too?"
"Always have. But you've always been a bit slow on the uptake."
"Have not."
"Have."
"Have..not." Daniel stopped, his breath coming much harder than it had.
Jack leaned across the arm of his chair and pressed his lips to Daniel's cheek.
"That's all I get?" Daniel murmured.
"Your breathing...you know," Jack gestured vaguely.
Daniel let out a small huff that could have been laughter, could have been annoyance. He raised his hand to Jack's cheek. "I'll manage."
Grinning, Jack moved in, kissing Daniel full on the lips. As far as first kisses went it was rather chaste, but it didn't matter. It held as much promise as Jack could give.
"Let's get inside," Jack said a bit later. He stood up and moved behind Daniel's wheelchair.
"Not ready." Daniel looked at Jack. "Just a bit more."
Jack couldn't deny Daniel such a simple pleasure. They sat there long into the night, watching the stars, holding hands, and never saying a word.
* * * *
He watched Daniel breathe. Some nights it was all he could do. The house was quiet--as quiet as it ever was now with the sound of the oxygen. Doc was in the kitchen. She'd said it was to drink a cup of tea, but Jack knew better. She seemed to understand better than any of the other medical personnel how much Jack needed time with Daniel. Jack wasn't aware of what day it was--he didn't want to know. He didn't want to keep track of the way Daniel's days slipped away. He only wanted each and every moment he had left.
He thought back to the confession Daniel'd made just a few nights ago. He wondered if Daniel ever would have told him otherwise. Maybe, maybe not. He touched Daniel's hand, traced the line of Daniel's fingers. He was the one who'd been the fool--the one who could have, should have, spoken. Jack smiled. Wouldn't Daniel have a field day with that admission?
There were long nights when he hated himself for wanting one more day with Daniel--hated himself because he saw what a struggle it was for Daniel to keep on fighting. But fight Daniel did--Jack thought it must be a part of Daniel's nature. Daniel, for whatever reason, couldn't let go. Or maybe it was Jack who couldn't let go and Daniel who held on for Jack's sake. And because Jack loved him, loved him more than he'd ever admitted even in that simple confession, he knew what he had to say.
Jack leaned close, whispered into Daniel's ear. "It's okay to let go. We'll be okay, I'll be okay." He touched Daniel's cheek, pressed his lips to Daniel's forehead. "You've fought long and hard, Danny. You've earned your rest. I love you, we all love you."
He was vaguely aware of something ringing in the background and someone else talking.
"Doc?" he asked when Fraiser came into the room. "What's going on?" He felt even more confused when some medics came into the room with a gurney. "Doc?"
"We're transporting Daniel to the mountain." Fraiser turned away and gave an order to one of the medics.
"What do you mean, we?" Jack asked. "I have Daniel's power of attorney and he's made his wishes clear. No heroic measures."
"Sir," Fraiser pulled herself to her full height. "Jacob Carter just arrived at the mountain."
* * * *
Jack followed the gurney down the hall. Daniel had stopped breathing in the ambulance and Fraiser had bagged him. One of the medics was still forcing oxygen into his lungs as they entered the infirmary.
"Let's get him on a ventilator ASAP," Fraiser ordered and it seemed that in a whirlwind, Daniel was surrounded by medical personnel and Jack was standing alone in an empty room.
"Colonel."
Jack turned so quickly, he felt slightly dizzy. General Hammond was there, as were Carter, Teal'c, Jacob Carter, and another older Tok'ra.
"Hi Jack." Jacob greeted him, his voice his own.
"Someone want to tell me what is going on?"
"Dad showed up with a possible solution," Carter explained. She didn't sound nearly as confident as Jack had come to expect. In fact, with the way she didn't quite meet his gaze, he was pretty sure he wasn't going to like whatever the solution was.
"Jacob," Jack acknowledged with a short nod. "Or should I say Sel'mac?"
"Jacob is fine." He paused and then continued by gesturing at the other Tok'ra. "This is Nel'an, the solution Sam mentioned." The elder bowed his head at Jacob's introduction.
"Absolutely not," Jack shook his head. "There is no way Daniel would want to live with a snake, friendly or not, inside his head."
"I think you should hear Nel'an out before you make a decision, Colonel," General Hammond said.
"What's to hear?" Jack felt his anger grow. This was why they'd brought Daniel back to the SGC? Ripped him from a peaceful passing? This was why he was being hooked up to machines?
"O'Neill, perhaps you should listen instead of making the assumption that you already know the solution to be suggested." Teal'c didn't blink when Jack glared at him.
"Okay, okay," he finally agreed. "Spill."
"Perrin and I have been joined for many years," Nel'an said in that reverberating voice that always made the hair on the back of Jack's neck stand up. "It has been a long and wonderful journey."
"And you're hunting for a new host," Jack continued for him. "Yadda, yadda."
"I think you misunderstand, Colonel O'Neill." The flash in Perrin's eyes coincided with the change in voice. "I am dying. There comes a point when even a symbiote cannot heal the effects of aging. Nel'an speaks the truth--it has been a long and wonderful journey for both of us. And now, we choose to end it together. We choose to do this for Daniel Jackson."
Jack took a deep breath. "I'm supposed to believe you?"
"Nel'an is not lying," Jacob said softly. "Nor is Perrin."
"Sir, Nel'an has the ability to heal Daniel." Carter's gaze darted between her father, Jack, and Nel'an.
"And what's our guarantee that when Nel'an gets inside Daniel, it doesn't decide that it likes its new home?"
"You have my word, Colonel O'Neill," Nel'an stated.
"Trust the word of a snake?" Jack asked.
"DanielJackson will die if you do not," Teal'c pointed out.
"Do you think I don't know that?" Jack turned on him, his voice rising. He shook his head. "Give me time."
"Daniel doesn't have much time left, sir," a quiet voice said from behind him. He turned to face Fraiser.
"We've placed him on life support," she continued.
"Sir," Carter said, a pleading note in her voice.
"I want to see him," Jack ordered. "I need to see him."
Fraiser nodded and beckoned for Jack to follow.
* * * *
Jack didn't speak as he stood at Daniel's bedside. Even if Fraiser hadn't been just on the other side of the curtain he wouldn't have spoken. Not when seeing Daniel there, hooked up to machines brought back a whole host of other memories he'd rather forget. He looked his fill, blinked burning eyes, pulled back the curtain, and said one word. "Yes."
* * * *
Perrin lay on his side on a gurney pulled close to Daniel's bed. Jack watched as Fraiser began disconnecting equipment from Daniel. Jacob Carter stood at the head of the bed, ready to assist the process of transfer.
"Are you ready, Nel'an?" Selmac asked.
"We are," Nel'an/Perrin answered.
Jack gagged as he watched the symbiote come forth from Perrin's mouth. He swallowed hard, determined to watch from start to finish. He owed it to Daniel, and he realized with a flash of insight, to Perrin/Nel'an.
Jacob lifted Nel'an to Daniel's mouth and the symbiote went in. Daniel's eyes were closed, for which Jack was grateful. He didn't know if he wanted to ever see Daniel's eyes flash gold. Fraiser dabbed a bit of blood away from the corner of Daniel's mouth.
"So what happens now?" Jack asked.
Jacob looked at him. "Now we wait." He placed his hand on Perrin's head and bowed his own. "We wait."
No-one spoke. Jack was glad of the silence. He looked from Daniel to Carter and then to Teal'c. He wasn't ready to lose any of them, wasn't ready for any of them to stop going through the Stargate, to stop exploring. He supposed it was selfish on his part to want to hang on to them, but hang on he would for as long as he could.
Perrin's breathing slowed, until it reminded him of Daniel's in the time before they'd come back to the SGC. He saw Fraiser tense and then he noticed it too--the slight change in Daniel's breathing, an ease that hadn't been there for months.
Jacob smiled and looked at Jack. Fraiser moved in close to Daniel and for the first time in a long while, Jack felt hope.
He saw Daniel's eyes open, his head move slightly and then a look of horror came over Daniel's face.
"No," Jack said, stepping forward and grabbing Daniel's hand. "No. It's not what you think."
Daniel just stared at him, whether he was in shock or Nel'an was still in control, Jack wasn't sure.
"Nel'an healed you. It's going to be over soon. I promise." He brushed away a few tears on Daniel's cheek with his thumb.
"Please," Daniel whispered. "Please."
"Everything will be fine, Danny," Jacob Carter said softly.
Daniel continued to look at Jack, his expression pleading. His eyes flashed gold and then closed.
"You said..." Jack began angrily.
"It's over," Jacob observed, and as Jack watched, Nel'an began to emerge from Daniel's mouth.
It was apparent, even to Jack who was no expert on symbiotes, that healing Daniel had taken all of Nel'an's strength.
"Please," Perrin's voice was a thin thread. "Together."
Jack didn't hesitate. He pulled Nel'an the rest of the way from Daniel's mouth and then turned to Perrin to complete the task. The symbiote barely moved in his hands and he wondered if it would be able to rejoin with Perrin.
Jacob held Perrin as Jack lowered Nel'an to him. Perrin smiled as the symbiote moved closer.
This time, Jack didn't avert his eyes as Nel'an once again joined with Perrin. Perrin's eyes flashed gold.
"Thank you."
Jack shook his head. "Thank you, Nel'an. Perrin."
Perrin's expression changed--almost as if he was having a private conversation, which Jack supposed was entirely possible and once again the Tok'ra smiled. He sighed softly and it was over.
Jack was surprised to feel his eyes stinging. "Rest in peace," he whispered.
* * * *
"Whoever heard of Christmas in weather this hot?" Jack complained as he stood guard while Daniel brushed dirt off a stelae on P5T-111.
Daniel pushed up his glasses and adjusted his boonie. "Would you like a list? In addition, we're not on Earth. I'm pretty sure Christmas wasn't ever celebrated here."
He waved a hand in Jack's direction. "Don't you have something else to do?"
"I am doing something. I'm guarding you."
Daniel put down his brush. "Guarding me." He made a show of looking at their surroundings. "Abandoned temple, blue sky, no clouds, no sign of Jaffa except for Teal'c, Stargate less than a day's walk from our present position. What are you guarding me against?"
"You never know," Jack answered cryptically. He waited until Daniel gave a huff of annoyance and then snuck a glance at Daniel's ass. It was quite a nice ass, he had to admit, one he enjoyed seeing naked in his bedroom as much as possible.
Nothing happened during Daniel's oh-so-patient exploration of the temple--nothing except that Jack thought he'd die of boredom. Even the walk to their camp was boring, except that Daniel's mouth was going a mile a minute about some sort of glyph being used in the temple. Jack was sure it would have the archaeological department in a mass orgasmic frenzy, but he doubted it mattered to anyone else. Okay, he'd admit it mattered to him simply because it mattered to Daniel, even if he didn't understand one word in ten Daniel was saying. Even when Daniel spoke English, there were times Jack still could have used a translator. Not that he was ever going to complain about it again. No sirree bob. Not when six months ago, Daniel hadn't even had the breath to finish a sentence.
They ate MREs and Jack watched Daniel tell Carter and Teal'c what he'd discovered--his eyes bright behind his glasses, his hands punctuating his explanation, and grinned at the show.
Eventually Daniel finished and Jack checked his watch.
"Timing me?" Daniel asked with a raised eyebrow for good measure.
"Timing Christmas," Jack said. "Which is right now." He tapped his watch.
"Not really, sir. Not if we take into account the..." Carter held up her hands when Jack glared at her.
"Are you going to make us all sing Christmas carols?" Daniel asked. Oh great, now he was doing the innocent look.
"I thought you liked to sing, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said. "I have heard you in the shower in the locker room."
"Score one for T-man," Jack said.
"Two Christmases in one year," Daniel commented softly. He looked up when no one said anything. "I never really thanked...I mean, all of you were there for me and..."
"We're family," Carter said. "That's what family does."
Daniel nodded and leaned back on his elbows, looking up at the unfamiliar stars. "Perrin and Nel'an weren't family," he mentioned.
Jack looked at him in surprise. Daniel had never spoken of the Tok'ra.
"I wonder why he offered? Why he did it?" Daniel continued.
"I don't know," Jack admitted. He'd never received a satisfactory answer from Jacob Carter.
He watched the firelight play across the planes of Daniel's face. He doubted he'd ever have an answer, although he thought of Daniel running into a burning building on an alien world because he believed others might be trapped in it. Of Carter deciding to stay with Cassie in the bunker, and of Teal'c leaving Apophis to throw his fate to the Tau'ri. If any of them could offer a similar gift to a stranger as Perrin/Nel'an had, Jack had no doubt his team would do the same.
He followed the line of a spark into the inky blackness of the night sky and gave thanks for gifts not asked for and freely given--the most precious gifts of all.
| Category: | Jack/Daniel |
| Genres: | Hurt/Comfort |
| Rated: | Teen |
| Warnings: | None |
| Series: | None |
| Summary: | Jack is there for Daniel when things are bleak. |
Story Notes:
Thanks to Alyjude, Devra, and JoAG for their reading and comments while the fic was in process and thanks as ever as always to Shaz who patiently beta'd.